a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
