Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
