So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize