More tranny stories later!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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