Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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