is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
