it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize