i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
