i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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