Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
