she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
