Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
PANTIES FOUND
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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