Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
