I wanna bring you to show and tell
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize