If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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