dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize