you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
