He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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