Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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