two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Everything about him screamed your future.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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