it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Small penises have feelings too.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
