U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
