considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
