so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
