I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
