Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Randomize
