I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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