Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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