Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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