Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
