i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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