I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
