:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
