I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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