Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
