I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize