My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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