I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
