Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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