hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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