Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
