I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize