that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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