Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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