Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
