One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Enjoy the penises
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
