Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
