u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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