New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize