Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize