Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
