Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
