i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize