I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
