You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
