omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it because I queefed?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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