my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
