But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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