just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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