New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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