I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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