Dual....:-)
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
