Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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